Roses in December

I answered the phone at work the other day and was most pleasantly surprised to hear the voice of an old friend on the other line. Robynn Holland was calling to see if I'd be interested in providing a genealogy workshop for teachers under the auspices of the Georgia Humanities Council. I jumped at the chance, not only because I'm a total genealogy nerd, but because I'd do most anything for Robynn. She had worked with Randy at Pointe South Middle School while simultaneously dealing with a painful divorce and a cancer diagnosis. Randy thought very, very highly of her and not long after he passed away I got the opportunity to apply for a spot in a Teaching American History grant program that she was directing. She was instrumental in getting me the slot, largely--I think--because she knew I was Randy's widow. I loved working with her throughout the two year program. And it was that program that introduced me to the Atlanta History Center and, ultimately, my dream job. Funny how one opportunity leads to another as we move through life.

Anyway, as we chatted on the phone, catching up with one another's lives, she mentioned how often she still thinks of Randy. She told me that he was a gifted, even brilliant teacher. She said he was the consummate gentleman and what's more, a gentle man. She said he was a tremendous leader--that the administration at the school had been critically weak and that Randy's leadership was instrumental in the day to day workings of the school. She said, "Sue, you know, you lose people now and again in life and it's always sad, but there was something special about Randy. Losing him just rocked me to the core--I still think of him."

Listening to her soothed places in my soul that I didn't even know were raw. There is something about knowing that he lives in other people's memories that somehow makes him alive again in my own. It wasn't four days later that it happened again.

Andy Wood, a dear friend from our days in Spain, arrived for a visit just a few days after my conversation with Robynn. He wasn't in my living room for more than 30 minutes when he directed the conversation to Randy. He told me that he had attended a church leadership meeting many years ago in Cadiz with Randy and that the speaker said that a young man absolutely must serve a mission before even thinking of marriage. Andy was new to the church and was already engaged to his sweetheart, Jenny. This leader's counsel shook him. Andy told me that as he and Randy drove back to Rota together, Randy told him that it was going to be okay. That there were many ways to serve a mission and that if he felt that marriage was the right choice for him, that's what he should do. Then Andy's eyes got a little misty as he went on. He said, "Randy told me that before Jenny and I consummated our marriage, that we should have prayer together. We did. And that really got us started on the right foot." He told me they were small incidents, these two encounters with Randy, but that they had meant the world to him.

James M. Barrie once said, "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December."

Or March.

Closing page of the 2002 Pointe South Middle School Yearbook:

Taken somewhere in the Black Sea, circa 1988

AAAAACK!!! Has it been almost a YEAR???

Okay, so there's no question I've been neglecting this blog. I've been neglecting it ever since I started it in the middle of that gawd-awful thesis experience. But NINE frigging months is a tad excessive.

And SO much has happened that's worthy of a blog post. I've had a couple of SIGNIFICANT breakthroughs in my family history--each one worthy of its own post.

So here are my New Year's Resolutions. In no particular order:

1. Walk (preferably outside) for at least 20 minutes each day. I've long lost hope that I'll ever lose enough weight to actually LOOK good again, but I can hope to lose enough weight to FEEL reasonably good. The older I get, the worse the damn back, knees, and hands get so I think it's time to make an attempt to at least slow down the decay. I may still be old and fat, but perhaps I can be old, fat, and mobile.

2. Post to each of my two blogs at least once each month. Part of my problem with getting this done is I feel, like Elizabeth Bennett, that I'm "unwilling to speak unless (I) expect to say something that will amaze the whole room..." So if I can't be brilliant and the post can't be perfect, I don't write one. I need to remember--short posts are okay. Posts without multimedia presentations (that take FRICKING FOREVER and thoroughly piss me off) are okay, too.

3. Spend an hour each day (on the days I don't teach) on a family history related project. Sundays are traditionally my dead-people days, and that's when I tend to actually make progress collecting information on my family. I need to spend some time on the other days of the week organizing, preserving, and sharing what I've already found.

4. Reduce the number of people I owe money to by 50%. Right now I owe money to eight different entities. Eight. Shit. We won't discuss how fundamentally pathetic that is since I know better than to let myself get trapped that way. Let's just blame it all on Randy and leave it at that. Oh, and I should perhaps add that this particular goal has reference to the accounts I owe, not the actual people. I am not suggesting that someone take out American Express. Just pay off the account I have with them so that they're no longer on my list of creditors.

Four things. Not bad, eh? Let's see if I can do it.

And now for something completely different....